-EJ 

           [As always, I welcome your comments]

Happy Thanksgiving!

-EJ

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This month our guest writer is my very own brother...

Checking Out    October 2007

Standing in the check-out line of my local market, I was positioned to see people to the left at the automatic purchasing machines as well as those in

my line making direct human contact. To my surprise, there was little contrast in the behavioral dynamics of the transactions.

The young unsmiling cashier appeared to be occupied in the thought of wishing she were anywhere else. She did not greet and received no salutations. Her only verbalization was a monotone, Debit or credit?

Have we lost our human beingness? This is the miracle of a person in front of you, not a machine. You may have hundreds of names in your personal rolodex of friends and relatives, but none matter as much as this young lady.

Why?... because they are not here at this point in time. The only one you can possibly affect, positively or negatively, is her.

Even if you think it proper protocol for her to greet you first, no supermarket police will arrest you for this indiscretion. Besides, you do not know the source of her distraction. I do not think she is mentally rediversifying her mutual funds portfolio. She could have just been derided by a previous buyer. Remember, the customer is always right even when they are crude, cruel, or unstable. Or perhaps she has a sick child with a new sitter. She might just be tired because this is a trying-to-make-the-ends-meet second job. We don’t really know, and more importantly, it doesn’t matter.

If this is still too difficult, ask yourself how you would like your daughter’s workday to go. After all, we are only truly different on the exterior. Like all manifestations of vegetation from giant redwoods to buttercups have their source in a similar soil, at deeper levels, we are all the same family.

Sometimes we have to get our selves out of the way and be more attentive to something other than our egos. One smile may be all she needs to breathe some life back into her day; likewise, a Good morning, how are you? will not diminish you in any way.

On the contrary, like chopping wood warms you twice…once when you split… and once when you sit by the fire, acknowledging another’s humanity is pleasing when words leave lips and when you see a smile and hear the response of a human voice.

Scares Me 

September 2006

One of the bravest things we can ever do as human beings is to admit that we're afraid.
We are all afraid of something and basically we're all afraid of the same things - death,
pain, failure, bondage, rejection, the unknown. Everything else pretty much fits under one of these
categories. We experience fear as tension, pressure, contraction, panic, dread...even physical pain but fear is a master of disguise, often showing up in our lives as guilt, frustration,
anger, hate, crime, depression, addiction, procrastination, judgement, abandonment,  violence,
sarcasm, humor, poverty, illness and extreme behavior.  Fear is a necessary although uncomfortable sensation. Fear is the mind's reaction to danger, real or imagined - anything that appears as a threat evokes the
fight or flight response. Fear is a messenger that tells us there's a choice to be made. But when we are
incapable or unwilling to make that choice we choose to close the door of consciousness and
turn to one of those avenues of escape listed above - anything not to feel our inadequacy.
There is one type of fear that we don't often consider but most of us - if not all - have experienced it at
some point in our lives and that is fear of our own power. Fear of success, happiness, love, freedom and wholeness.
Why is it that when the very things we all so deperately hope for and search for are within our grasp, we hesitate.
We're so suspicious of anything good. Where is the hidden agenda, where's the deception? We've all been burnt before.
Why go back into the fire? Why risk what we have now for the possibility of something better. We could lose it all.
We hold on much too long. Often everything in our being is screaming "Go! Yes! Move! Now!" and suddenly we're paralyzed
by doubt. Soon the moment passes, the ship has sailed and we realize we've missed the opportunity of a lifetime and
may spend the rest of our lives trying to compensate for the loss.

Ultimately, no one else can tell us what is true. We have to find out for ourselves. That is our journey here on earth.
Our mission is to find the truth and put it into action.  Each day
presents opportunities to transcend fear - in all of it's manifestations. A coward is only a coward until the next challenge.
Be a hero today.  

-EJ     

The Fans

August 2005

A few months back at the Tin Angel, Jeffrey joked about the fact that no one ever comes to his shows dressed like him. Whereas crowds routinely don elaborate costumes to be in sync with their favorite performers “we just look like we’re waiting for a bus!”

It’s true; the connection isn’t an obvious one. Jeffrey Gaines’ fans represent a cross-section of America. Looking around the room, you are likely to find teen fledgling rockers, some guys who just came for the beer, married couples, serious music aficionados, a sprinkling of pageant contenders, some guys who came along to appease their girlfriends and a few gen x-ers who came just to hear “In Your Eyes.”  Then there’s the core group of Jeff’s supporters who for some reason connect to this guy and would follow him anywhere. I’m not saying which category I’m in but considering that I’m spending a gorgeous Sunday afternoon typing this article, you could probably guess.

I am personally offended at the tasteless choices we are handed in the movies, television and music industries today. I am just as offended by all of us who are willing to accept those choices and just live with them. It’s mostly garbage. The media spoon-feeds us mediocrity on a daily basis until we begin to believe all those small, fragmented, isolating thoughts that reinforce our insecurities, convincing us that we are never enough. They seep into our consciousness and begin to form our existence. Where is the quality in our lives? There is so much talent out there – underrated, under promoted and under supported. We just need to care a little bit more.

I once overheard a club manager remark to Jeffrey that he’s never seen anything like the devotion Jeff’s fans have toward him. We hang around long after the show hoping for a few brief words, a photo or a JG on our cd cover.  Jeffrey is always generous and accommodating.  

We come away from the show feeling validated, appreciated and inspired. We can take all that back into our lives and function from a slightly higher level of awareness as the words and music still resound in our minds and hearts, reminding us to be bold, to care for each other and to focus our energies on the things that really matter.

I wasn’t at all surprised to find that many of Jeffrey’s fans are caring, compassionate and creative. They are teachers, artists, photographers, caretakers, builders, writers and musicians; people I’d like to know better. The JG café is a forum for just that kind of interaction. I hope more people will write in just to say hi. Don’t be shy! I love mail!

- EJ

Leap of Faith (July 2005) 

     From time to time we all have to face that moment when we choose to risk it all to follow our true path, leaving behind what has been comfortable and familiar for so long. Nature shows us that this is how life adapts and evolves. The tadpole becomes a frog, the caterpillar becomes a butterfly. We have given up so much to preserve our security but now the winds of change are blowing and it is time to move on.

     In the past we may have lingered a while, contemplating all of our options but these are bold times and if we don’t act when we know we should, we may just miss that window of opportunity and we’ll never know how amazing our lives could be.

     In order to keep the flag of hope waving high in an often hopeless world, we’ve got to step out and stand tall. That’s what Jeffrey has been telling us all these years and he's right. We can’t let our fears hold us back from becoming who we were meant to be. We have to trust that there are indeed benevolent forces at work in the universe that will come to our aid once we gather our courage and intentions and take that leap into the void.     

     Suddenly, the winds of change become warm thermals and we grow eagle wings. Gliding effortlessly above it all, we can see farther and clearer than ever before and in our new form we find we can travel to distant and unimaginable lands.

     It’s not easy breaking free of all the ties that bind – home, job, family, friends  - there are invisible strings connecting us to all of that and even though they can’t be seen, those strings bind us tightly to our current existence, like the reins of a horse, determining the course of our lives.

     Naturally, we must take into consideration our serious obligations to those who truly need us. Caring for young children, aging parents or a disabled spouse may delay us on our journey to self-fulfillment for a while but a life of true loyalty and selflessness is always rewarded, although not necessarily in ways that the rest of the world would consider valuable. Then again, the intentions of the heart can sometimes open doors we never knew existed. Whatever your circumstances, keep your dream alive, practice your craft and refine your skills. When opportunity presents itself, you’ll be ready.    

     It seems that Jeffrey has reached a crossroads and is lingering in the doorway, surveying the horizon. We have supported him over the years and he has responded by rising to the occasion with the music and words we all needed to hear but it’s a new day and it is time for Jeffrey to leave the proverbial nest. We need to show him that same support as he ventures out into a new way of being, a new direction, whatever that may be and have faith that when the dust settles everything will be as it should be.

     Jeffrey is hard at work on his sixth studio album and isn’t giving us many clues as to what we should expect. At recent shows, he has hinted at making some changes towards a more alternative and edgier sound. It appears the time has come to leave the security of his comfortable niche and explore beyond the boundaries that currently hold him back from greater success. He has always been destined for greatness and it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the world comes on board.

     Hopefully, he won’t venture too far from the quintessential Jeffrey Gaines that we’ve all grown to love. Hopefully, no matter what form the new music takes on, at it’s core we will find the provocative, courageous, compelling and liberating words that inspire us ever onward.

     For those of you who cringe at the thought of leaping blindly into thin air from a mountaintop, allow me to offer another, perhaps gentler, metaphor. Every thought, action or expression that we put out there in the world is a little paper boat in a stream, full of hope and promise as it sails out of view. If, by chance, it should arrive on a happy shore where it is found and cherished – wonderful, though it could just as easily get tangled in some vegetation and eventually decompose. 

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."

-- Mark Twain

 

     Hopefully, with a steady wind and a large stack of paper one of our little boats just may make its way out onto the sea of possibility, sailing among the big ships and finally come to rest on an island paradise. There, at last, the dream meets reality and life becomes pure magic.

   

Happy Sailing!  

-EJ